Episode 08 - Fathers Matter: Why Pregnancy Centers Must Engage Dads

Fathers play a powerful role in the health of families, the strength of communities, and the future of the next generation—but too often their voices are missing from the conversation.

In this episode of the Lifeline for Leaders Podcast, Kirk and Linda Thomas sit down with Andrew Wood, a nationally recognized speaker, author, and founder of AHW Ministry Advisors. With more than 15 years of experience working with churches, pregnancy centers, and nonprofit leaders, Andrew shares why engaging fathers is essential when supporting families facing unexpected pregnancies.

Andrew reflects on a pivotal moment when he realized that pregnancy ministries often encourage fathers to be involved—but rarely create meaningful opportunities for them to participate. That realization sparked a movement to intentionally engage men, mentor them, and help them step into the responsibility and privilege of fatherhood.

Throughout this conversation, Andrew and Kirk discuss practical strategies leaders can use to involve fathers, why men need mentorship and community, and how honest, sometimes difficult conversations can plant seeds that change lives. They also explore how cultural messages about fatherhood have shaped today’s challenges—and why strong, present fathers make such a difference in families and communities.

This episode is a powerful reminder that when leaders invest in men and call them to responsibility, many are ready to rise to the challenge.

Connect with Andrew Wood:
Andrew Wood is a speaker, author, and ministry advisor who equips churches and organizations to develop stronger leaders and engage men in meaningful ways.

Learn more:
Substack: https://andrewhwood.substack.com
Ministry: AHW Ministry Advisors

🎧 Listen to the Lifeline for Leaders Podcast on: Spotify &  Apple Podcasts
📺 Subscribe to Lifeline for Leaders on YouTube for more conversations that equip and encourage leaders.

💼 Follow our official LinkedIn Business page: Lifeline for Leaders

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I walked through our lobby and there was a dude just sitting there, and it just hit me like, oh, he's doing what we want him to do, and we are doing nothing for him. And it was this like real wake-up call for me.

SPEAKER_02 0:14

Welcome to Lifeline for Leaders, a podcast created to strengthen and connect those serving in pregnancy care clinics and pro-life ministries. I'm Linda Thomas.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

And I'm Kirk Thomas. Each week we sit down with leaders, ministry partners, authors, and experts who shape the pro-life landscape, sharing practical insights you can use to write away, and inspiring stories that remind you you're not walking this journey alone.

SPEAKER_02 0:42

Our mission is to help you serve with confidence and resilience. This is your community, your support, your lifeline. This episode's lifeline is a reminder that fathers matter deeply, not only in the home, but in the health of families, the strength of communities, and the future of the next generation. Today's guest is Andrew Wood, a nationally recognized speaker, author, and ministry leader with more than 15 years of experience equipping churches, pregnancy centers, and nonprofit leaders to lead with clarity and purpose. He's also the founder and president of AHW Ministry Advisors. And if that isn't enough, he's the husband to Aaron and the proud father of six. Before we get started, Kirk, would you please lead us in prayer?

SPEAKER_00 1:31

I sure will. Thanks. Lord, thank you for the leaders like Andrew serving families every day. Give us all wisdom as we walk along, both mothers and fathers. Prepare us with the words and tools that allow us to speak truth to your sons and daughters that walk into a clinic facing an unplanned pregnancy. Provide strength and courage to every sinner listening today. In your name, Jesus, amen. Amen. Amen. All right. Let's just jump right into it, Andrew. How are you doing today? I'm good. Good. Anytime I get to talk is a good day. Well, so just about intentionality, intentionality to talking to fathers at a pregnancy care center. Why is that so important nowadays?

SPEAKER_01 2:19

Yeah, I think I think we are seeing, you know, revival may be too strong of a word, but maybe in an awakening that at least that's what happened for me. I mean, I I led a pregnancy center in Knoxville, Tennessee. And one day I was walking, I don't know if I was going to lunch or going to a meeting or something, but I walked through our lobby and there was a dude just sitting there. And it just hit me, like, oh, he's doing what we want him to do, and we are doing nothing for him. And it was this like real wake-up call for me. And and so uh when I got back from where I was going, I sat down with with a couple staff members and it was like, we're we're doing something for for dads. I I don't know what that is. Uh we just have to engage them. We we can't say we need you to be involved, and when they show up, we we don't do anything. Um and so really what I did, I mean, I I just uh I didn't have a curriculum at the time. I didn't, you know, I was like, Well, I'm a dad. I have a dad, you know, I'm a man. Surely I can figure this out. And so I reached out to a donor of ours, a partner of ours, who owned a tire shop, owned a few tire shops in the area. And I just said, hey, we're we're gonna start engaging fathers. And what I was wondering is if we could, if we get this off the ground and we bring them to your tire shop, I I would love to spend some time encouraging them, you know, maybe seven to ten minutes. We'll do something kind of baby focused, you know, show them how to change the diaper, how to set up a pack and place, something like that. And then I said, I would love to hand it over to your guys to like walk us through basic car maintenance. And he was like, Absolutely, we'll do that, and and we'll feed them. And so our first one was at a tire shop, and and all the guys brought their car into the, and it was just a hey, here's how you check fluids. And and you know, the the crazy thing is we did we did that a few times, and every time we did that, every car we pulled into the tire shop when we got their spare tire out was flat, every single one. So I say that to say check your spare, make sure it has air in it. That's a that's a handy thing. That was not what I was that was not a lesson I was expecting to learn, but but I you know from there we were like, okay, let's just we got it rolling, what else can we do? And so every month we would meet at a different uh partner um in the in the city of Knoxville. And and it was giving them practical uh knowledge as well as spiritual guidance um too. And and and so what we found was guys just they were looking for community. You know, I think oftentimes we hear these these young ladies are looking for community and we kind of forget that that men need that too. I mean, I'm in uh just personally, I I'm in a uh I meet with a group of guys every Monday via Zoom, I meet with a group of guys every Thursday via Zoom, and those are two different groups because we you know I need that.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

Well, you really thought outside the box to get to get the uh ministry going and geared toward toward men. Um what are some things that the centers can do to think outside the box to keep men engaged and and to let the women know, the moms to be know that that it's important that their partners come with them?

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Yeah, what we tried to do and what I would encourage folks to do, sometimes we overcomplicate it and and then we're just kind of paralyzed and we don't do anything. Sometimes we we take what we're doing with the with the ladies and we just change the pronouns, and I'm like, that's not an answer either. These are you know, we men and women are very different. I know that's crazy to say in in 2026, but but they're different. And so we need to make sure that whatever we're doing for the guys does look a little bit different. And and so what what I have found to be successful is while we're doing parenting education with moms, we would have one night where we would say, bring your partner. And what we meant by that is bring whoever's going to be in that room with you. So, because what we didn't want to do is say bring the father of your child, because some of them is like, well, I he he he will never show up and we have no contact. So we didn't say that. We would say bring your whoever's gonna be with you when you hit so some people brought their mom, some people brought friends, but but many of them brought the the father of the child. And then I would speak to that class and I would say, Hey, if you're dad in here, we meet on on this night at this time, we'd love to have you. And so it was a way for us to to to kind of bridge that gap. Uh, but I would say there there are guys right now in your community that are that would love to be involved. They just don't know how because they fit they have listened to what the culture has said. This isn't a man's issue. And what we have to tell them is the only way we're gonna we're gonna correct the fatherlessness epidemic that we find ourselves in is if the good dads that are doing it step in and mentor those that don't have it modeled. And so you can't be what you don't see. So many of these guys are just doing what they know, which is nothing. Um and and so we have to then step in and be that model for them. And and that's really what I think we've gotten away from generational discipleship. You know, we've segregated everything. You know, you're a certain age at the church, well, then you go meet with a certain age. You you want to be in a life group, you go meet with a certain age life group. Instead, we need to have cross-generational discipleship where when when we had those dad's classes, we had granddads in there that were coming to serve and mentor young men that are just stepping into parenthood. And and and we needed that. We needed the whole, I wanted guys in there that had their kid, that were empty nesters. I wanted guys in there that were, their wife was pregnant. I wanted guys in there that were like me and had one in every age group. You know, we I got my wife got pregnant while I was leading the dad's class, you know, and the the those dads were like, oh, you get to walk through it with us now, you know, and and so those are those are things that we want because we want them to see, hey, no matter what season you're in, we have somebody here that you can you can learn from. Um and and and there are guys at the church, there's there are guys in your community that are just itching, they just need to be asked. And and they don't want to, they don't want it to be overly feminized where they feel like, well, I you know, I what am I supposed to do? I'm a I I'm a manager of a tire shop, or I'm a I'm a landscaper, or I'm a contractor. What what do you need from me? And it's like, what we need is for you to be you and show them how to be the dad and and and husband that God's called them to be.

SPEAKER_00 8:51

Uh one other question, Andrew. Uh you talked about sitting in those rooms. What what do you do when one of the you feel that the father's just disengaged from it or that uh he's really pre pressuring his partner to to have an abortion?

SPEAKER_01 9:07

Yeah, I mean, I grab them and shake them. No, that's what I wanted to do multiple times. No, I I think I think it's one of those things. I've even been today, earlier today, I recorded something and uh and it's so it's fresh on my mind, but but I I think we are sometimes we need struggle to trust God to be God when we're not there. And so when and what I mean by that is when that dad walks out of the building, when that young lady walks out of the building, we we fret and and we wring our hands. And I think sometimes we do that because we believe we are the savior and we are the answer. And and in reality, we can, and look, we need to do everything we can. I remember sitting down with a guy one time and I threw everything with him at him, like like not literally, but but figuratively, I threw everything at him. I mean, I challenged him, I pushed, I encouraged, I you know, mapped it all out. We we went through it for an hour. And he walked out of my office going, yeah, I just still don't know. And I was just like, Are you kidding me? And but but there was this moment of I do not have control. I trust the Lord's gonna take the seeds that I just planted, and and hopefully the right decision will be made. Sometimes that happens, sometimes it doesn't. But I think often these guys are not wanting to be seen as a project. They're wanting to be seen as somebody that is going through a tough spot. I sat down with a guy one time and I just challenged him on his girlfriend was pregnant, and and I just felt like I didn't always do this. So I I want to I want y'all to hear my heart on this. I don't think in every scenario those parents should get married. Okay. So I'm not I'm not saying that. But what I do think is often we don't no one in their life is giving them permission to even think about it. And so I just felt in my spirit talking to this guy at a saucerita's in the middle of the day that he needed to be challenged. And so I said, have you thought about marrying her? And this may sound crass, and I apologize, but I said, You you thought about laying down with her, have you thought about marrying her? And he just looked at me and was like, Well, I don't know. I was like, Well, what why not? So I wasn't telling him, hey, go do this. I was saying, look, there's now a child coming in here. Like you need to be, you need a man-to-man, you need to be challenged and encouraged and and you need to wrestle with these things. And and what what I have found when I would sit down with guys and and and I wasn't just doting on them or saying what they wanted to hear. They they respected and appreciated someone that would be willing to kind of get in the mess with them. I think as believers, we often are very good at standing on the on the shore and yelling while people are drowning. You know, swim, kick your arms, you know, you brought this on yourself. And disciples get in there and and we're gonna get slapped in the face and drugged down and and it's gonna be messy, but but I found when when you really sit down and treat them as a uh as a peer, as just a person, not a project. And and at times I had to like put the shepherd pastor kind of language on the shelf and be able to relate with them in some of the messiness that they were facing. And and what I found was in those moments, something starts to happen and that rough shell starts to crack, and then and then you can reach them. But but when when they when they feel like they don't want to be engaged, I think that's the moment. Anytime I would sit down with a guy that that was questioning or, hey, we're not ready to do this, I would just tell them, I would say, from from my viewpoint, from my world view, the Lord could have picked anyone on this planet that's ever walked this planet to be the dad to this child and he picked you. And so you have an opportunity to throw that away or to step into that responsibility. You have an opportunity right now to not be the dad that you didn't have, but to be, to change all that. Um and and sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. And you know, my prayer is that that it would again plant those seeds so that they would step into the responsibility in front of them. Yeah, that's pretty powerful.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

Yeah, and I would imagine a lot of them when it's positioned like that, it's probably something that they for the first time or one of few times that they feel like, oh, I am in control of this. I do have a say, I do have a voice in this. So how much influence do you see? I'm not gonna say typically because I don't think there's a typical answer, but how much influence does the father have over that decision? And has that changed over the years or decades?

SPEAKER_01 13:45

Yeah, I mean, I think in Life Way and Carinet did a study on this not too long ago. Uh, and I think it's probably only only grown. The the most influential person in the decision making is not the pastor, it's not mama, it's not daddy, it's it's the man that was involved in in the pregnancy. And the the females are telling us that, and the the males are telling us that. And so it is an influential, you know, often culture will say, oh, that's a decision between a woman and her doctor, which is such nonsense. That that is like that is it boggles my mind. I was I always say this. I was I was very much involved with the creation of my six kids. Okay, very much. So to say that it's the decision between my wife and and her doctor, and and I have no say, it's just uh, I mean, I could rant on that for a while. That's nonsense. But it's a decision, culture will say that, but when you ask those clients, they say, yeah, you know, the doctor's involved, yeah, yeah, I'll go to mentors and friends. But really, you know, if if he tells me to abort, I'm more likely to abort. But if he tells me we can do this, I'm more likely to keep this child. That's what we that's what they're telling us. And I think I think we are seeing a resurgence of men wanting to be better men. I mean, I'm I'm a uh I devour podcast on a lot of different topics. Some of them are are things that I could uh recommend on here, and some of them are not. But but what I'm finding, even in the secular world, men are starting to rise up and call men to be better. Now, they're doing it, uh, you know, sometimes they're they're doing it away from the Lord. I mean, they're they're you know, they're pointing men to kind of go out and domineer and dominate and and make babies with whoever and whenever and all that, that's nonsense. But but a lot of them are saying, hey, there's a there's something special about the first time I held that child. And I I commented on a on a post the other day about the there was a video of all these young men holding their babies for the first time, and all of them were crying. And in the post was saying, this is this is natural, this is what happens. And all I did was comment under it and say, from the first to holding my sixth, I did that exact same thing. So it wasn't like I got used to it. It still brought that emotion, and the amount of likes and is crazy. But why? Because when people see men stepping into that role, everyone recognizes it's better. Things will be better. Your communities will be better if dads are present, your home will be better, obviously, if dads are present. Your subdivision, your church, your schools, everything will be better if dads are present and involved and engaged in the process. And I think a lot of these young men that that are you know stepping out or or not stepping up to the plate, I think it's just because it hasn't been modeled well. Or or it's it's the same thing like, while why is marriage numbers declining? Well, often the picture we give of marriage is not a good picture. So our kids are like, well, if that's what marriage is, I don't want it.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

So in the same way, if if that's what parenting is, if that's what's having a bunch of kids, if if my kids come to me and be like, I'm just having one, I'm going, well, we we probably did something here that was not was not a good model, you know, where they're like, it's it's this is chaos. Why would anybody want to do this? But if they come to me and they have a desire to, I love a large family, we didn't get it perfect, but we modeled for them what a large family could look like. And I think we just have an opportunity in these situations to again give them that which they don't see and it and it makes all the difference in the world.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

Yeah, and so that so that uh the question, you know, when you're sitting down one-on-one, that that's not just a question for the that man, that's a question for society because that's where it starts. So Kirk, did you have a question?

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Yeah, I sure did. Well, let's let's kind of flip that around. Uh what it what do you do when it's the the woman that that's sitting in the chair and they don't want the the the father involved or or they they don't even want to tell the father.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

Yeah, and those are those are hard ones. I mean, you know, because here's the thing in in some of those cases, some, not not the majority or not all, but in some of those cases, those guys don't need to be involved. And so you have to be discerning with as much as I want the man involved, if he is going to cause chaos or abuse, you know, and in the same way, if that if that young lady is gonna cause chaos and abuse, we need to, we need to, because I've been in those conversations too, where I got called back one time at a baby shower because two uh, you know, the the phone call to me was, I think they are about to fight. And it wasn't an argument, it was I think they were about to lay hands on each other. And I thought, well, this this should be fun. And when I got there, here's the reality. She wanted to fight him physically as much as he wanted to. Like it was bonkers. And in that moment, and and through that whole situation and that conversation, what he felt like is y'all don't listen to me, and you need to know what I'm going through. And I sat there for over an hour listening to him, and I thought, okay, yeah, he's, you know, he definitely don't put your hands on her. I mean, I made that clear. But what he was dealing with in that moment was not ludicrous, like it was real stuff that that she had been doing. And so I I think we have to get to a place where we're we encourage these men to even in those tough scenarios where where because I have friends that have been through this where they wanted the child and and they had no say and the woman aborted the child. And it and it is, I mean, it's soul crushing, it's it's heart-wrenching, but um, but I think that's where you you pray and and you trust the Lord with those conversations. And and my my my advice to the to the guy would be you just have to be present. I know this is hard, I know this is difficult, I know there's a lot of things you want to say and you want to win the argument, and you want to do this and do that. Right now is not about winning the argument. Right now we have a life that is is hanging in the balance. I need you to step in and lean in and recognize your faults. Where have you been lacking? I mean, I sat down with a guy one time and and a pastor called me and he said, Hey, are you gonna be here on Wednesday nights? Because we would we would go to church there on Wednesday nights. And I said, Yeah. He said, Hey, I have somebody in my office. And I was like, Okay. So I get there and the pastor just walks out. I was like, Well, this is, you know, this this should be interesting. And so I sit down with this guy and he's saying, you know, my my girlfriend wants to have an abortion. I don't. I want I want us to keep the baby. And he said, uh, I keep telling her I'm gonna be there. He said, now I do need to let you know I have some charges and I I could go away to prison for 10 years. And I just looked at him and I said, So you may not be there. Like, listen to what you're saying. And and as we talked, like I knew what he did, and I looked at him and I said the hard thing. I said, you know what? And you may need to go to prison because what you did is terrible. And so what I need you to do is not give her false hope that you're gonna be there because you may not be there physically. But you need to, you need to show her that even though I may not be there physically, I'm putting things in place so that you're not doing this alone. And so I think sometimes, again, that was a hard conversation. You think I wanted to tell that guy he should go to prison, me and him in a room? I didn't know what was gonna happen. But that's what he needed to hear. He needed another man to look at him and say, there are consequences to our actions. This may need to happen. But regardless if that happens or not, you need to make sure that you're putting things in place. You can't just tell her you're gonna be there when in fact you may not be physically there. Uh, and again, it's having those hard, uncomfortable uh conversations and and then putting it in God's hand. So I didn't walk away carrying the weight of of that. I trust that the Lord will will intervene as he sees fit.

SPEAKER_02 22:04

And really what you're asking him to do, and and it's it's not obvious unless you read your book, Hero, Ghost Villa, is you're you're you're you're putting that nugget or that seed in about setting up the legacy, starting the legacy now. What is it going to look like in the future? So for centers who do an absolutely great job, I am in awe of everything that they do. But if there's anything maybe that you can share that might help them with the the engaging men, maybe one, one thing is there anything that you can think of that comes top of mind?

SPEAKER_01 22:42

Yeah, I would say there's a lot of folks don't realize, you know, I've had a lot of conversations even over the last few months with with pregnancy centers that that have the they use Bright Course, which is a platform to to help train up their clients and staff and other things. But it's a it's a great tool. It's kind of what used to be earn while you learn it is now is now Bright Course. And I was telling somebody the other day I was like you know because they were talking about this thing you know that how do we how do we engage the dads? And I said there's you know I have a dad focused study on Bright Course. So you already have access to it. If you if you're using Bright Course it's on there search it either you can search built to lead or hero ghost villain and that can give you that there's other national organizations that have get great curriculum. And here's the thing even when I put that on Bright Course I talked to other fatherhood programs and what we all agreed is once they complete one they need something else to go to like it's not a competition. I'm not in competition with this fatherhood curriculum or that like as long as it's elevating the good things of God and calling men to be better I'm going to support it. And we need those those things. And so that's a great opportunity they if they're already if they already have access to Bright Course they can they can use that and do that. And I would just say reach out to the pastors the churches that are supporting you reach out to the pastors and just say hey we need some guys that that can help in this and and so I've I've encouraged centers to open up one of their offices open up a room in their building and say tell a pastor hey once a week if you want to come work remotely and work here we won't bother you but if a guy walks in we'd love to connect you with him and that pastor can still get his work done and and all that and know he's not going to be bothered the whole time but that also gets them in your building to see what you're doing, see see the work you're doing. And you can offer that not just the pastors maybe you have other guys that work remotely I work from home. So you know that I could you know there's a way to how can I get them in my building and then if a guy walks in we can we can connect them. Again don't overcomplicate it and don't see them as projects and don't let your biased of a lot of the stories that you've heard of dudes not stepping up and being what they need to be taint the way you interact because maybe they're doing that because that's all they know. And so give them something else to strive for there's so many men in my life I could point to and be like I do what I do now because of that man. And I could go down the list my brothers my dad my stepdad my granddaddy he's been married to my grandmama for 74 years. And so there were men in my life to show me hey we're not going to put up with nonsense this is the direction you need to go and a lot of these guys we're serving they haven't had that and so how do we give that to them?

SPEAKER_02 25:32

Andrew that so that is so insightful and thank you so much for that. What you've shared today is encouraging and hopefully and if today's episode helped listeners think differently about how they engage or how they can engage the centers we'd love for you to share it with your team. And if you'd like to get hold of Andrew you can reach him at andrewhwood.substack.com and on the next episode of Lifeline for leaders Andrew and Kirk will be talking one dad to another about Andrew's recently released and powerful book called Hero Ghost Villain and what it means to be present faithful and intentional in their role as fathers thanks for joining us today on Lifeline for Leaders. If today's episode was meaningful feel free to share it with someone who might benefit and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss a conversation.

SPEAKER_00 26:26

Remember you don't have to walk this mission alone. We're honored to walk alongside you.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

See you next time